I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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