so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
