It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
