I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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