Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
babies were throwing up all over the place
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
