She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
