I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
