Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
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I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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