So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
