The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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