How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
