I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How does one acquire holy water?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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