kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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