Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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