For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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