i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
