Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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