All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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