No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
