Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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