Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
