i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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