just tell him i said nine months
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
