we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
