he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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