is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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