I wanna passion pit in your ass
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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