It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she told me i tasted like america
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways