Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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