Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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