I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
