did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
