Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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