I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
