4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize