So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
