well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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