I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
