You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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