Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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