my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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