...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
