so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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