SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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