can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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