Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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