Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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