I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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