So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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