ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just want nice things and good sex
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
