If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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