we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
