I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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