Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
