never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
